My Daughter Said She Is Gay

Yesterday, Coraline and I were watching some Felicity. It's generally very G rated and frankly I'm winding down from Buffy marathon. I was barely paying attention to the screen but I heard someone tell someone else they were gay, I barely looked up to see who it was. Coraline was sitting next to me and this conversation followed: 

Coraline " Mom, I'm Gay"

Me: "Ok"

Coraline " What does Gay Mean?"

Me: "It means happy"

Coraline is 3.5 years old, I am fully aware that this is a teaching moment. I am not that person who shelters my child from knowledge, right? I am all accepting, all giving of wisdom, all full of life experience and hippie/hipster/attachment parenting/new thinking....right! I am in the cool parent group..."my daughter knows the word vagina" etc. You know what I am saying. And then you are faced with a question and in the moment before you answer, you rethink everything all at once. 

So here is what I thought and why I answered the way I did. 

This is not a teaching moment. This is not that moment you have prepared for where you will spew your carefully thought out descriptions of what homosexuality is and why how you can't choose who you love and how some people don't like other people based on their preference.... No. Not this moment. You know why? Because she is 3. She doesn't know what sexuality is let alone distinguishing between types. Why should she know that? How will that help her in her life at this moment? Why would I needlessly confuse my child? Why would I stress her out? She asks her sister and father daily if they will marry her, this is her level of knowledge when it comes to coupling.

I'm not keeping her in the dark, she once randomly told me that some families have two mommies and some families have a mommy and a daddy. She understands some basic level of arrangements. Enough for a 3 year old. I am worried that there is an entire generation of parents that have taken this "knowledge is power" thing way too far. They are bombarding their children with a weird liberal agenda starting from day 1. Which makes me sound like Charlton Heston defending my right to own a gun, which is so so far from who I am. I am a liberal agenda, I swear. I just don't want to push it onto my child when she is 3. 

Coraline was asking a passing question that she was barely interested in at the time. I answered with an age appropriate answer that satisfied her response in an accurate way. I'm sure it won't be long before she comes home from school with some idea that will lead us to sit down and talk things out. Just like she has for some reason decided that boys don't wear makep. This is not an idea she got from this house. At every mention of this idea, I open a dialog and talk it out so we realize that if boys want to wear make up they can, and just because it isn't the most usual thing, it isn't wrong. 

If my daughter is gay, that is great. I honestly don't care. I don't care so much that I don't think about it. What I do think about is that I'd like very much for her to stay in the dark about sex and sexuality as long as possible. Because as a parent I want you to remember... you can't take knowledge back. You can't unknow things. You can't regain your innocence. 

I'm Not A Hipster...they just stole my glasses

My mother taught me not to hate, so I won't say that I hate someone or a group of people. You will hear a lot of people talk about how they hate hipsters, just like in the 60's when you were either a hippie or you hated them. I don't hate them, I find the movement comical; like an episode of Portlandia. The problem I have is that many people think I am a hipster. I am not. I swear. There are some commonalities, some music overlaps, some television or movies with hipster cult followings that I also love. The two things that lead people to this conclusion are 1. I have a lot of tattoos and 2. My choice in glasses. So, let me set the record straight...

I was getting heavily tattooed, large always visible tattoos...before hipster was a thing. Especially before girls were getting tattooed so much. When I was covering my arms in tattoos other girls were getting butterflies on their lower backs. (and you won't hear me use the word tramp stamp because..hello, feminism anyone, it makes me mad to hear people degrade a woman they don't know or make a sweeping blind judgement like that. I digress) I was weird. I was considered a rebel or counterculture with all of my visible tattoos. It was not something on trend, it didn't give me street cred.

My glasses. This is a huge one cause even if my tattoos are covered, you see my glasses. People will look at me and I can see "hipster" flash in their minds. Yes, hipsters tend to have a certain type of eyewear, a throwback to our grandparents when thick plastic glasses were the cheapest and most sturdy you could find. A short history lesson: plastic was awesome to people from 1909-1930. It was invented in the late 1800's and after years and years they figured out how to make it super affordable. For a long time, everything was plastic, it's a wonder material! Glasses were no exception. Standard issue army glasses were those thick plastic frames...you see them on hipsters now everyday. I have been wearing these plastic tortoise shell glasses since high-school. Back then, they were super hard to find. I was lucky to have 2 pairs to choose from, and they were expensive..and I looked weird. 

So no, I'm not a hipster because of my glasses. My glasses are hipster now because they decided that was an ironic or cool style to support. It is both awesome and sucks. 

Why it sucks:

Most people my age have the same types of glasses now. It's no longer a part of my unique style. I am one among a mass. 

Why it is awesome: 

I have so many pairs of glasses to choose from it is not even funny. It's super hard to find glasses now that I have hundreds to choose from! 

The internet has blessed us with the amazing concept of companies that now sell affordable frames and lenses online which you can order for a free at home trial. I am beyond excited about this. As a mother, let me tell you how difficult it is to try on 10 pairs of glasses with two screaming children...oh wait, you already know it's impossible. So I ordered at home trials from 3 companies over the past weeks and in the comfort of my home got to pick frames. 

I took to Facebook to ask which frames looked best. Thank you social networking!. 

The winner....#2! 

If you wear glasses, I highly suggest checking these companies out. The selection was great. At home trials are fun. The prices are way lower then from my local eye doctor. 

I won't be sad if more moms are rocking plastic frames...I assure you they are probably the best option because they stand up to everything my two children have thrown at them. 

Fetch Eyewear

This company is based in Portland. 100% of the money they make goes to The Pixie Project which supports homeless animals and shelters. 

Classic Specs

They offer the lowest price, $89 for glasses and lenses. Can't beat it. I wish I loved a pair from here cause I would have been able to afford 2 pairs. 

Rivet & Sway

This is company I ended up picking my new frames from. They are the most expensive of the 3 companies but still a great price. 

Signs You Need A Night Out

In honor of my first night out in a very long time...with great girlfriends mind you. Here are some signs to let you know if you are also due for a night out. . . 

You consistently call you chlldren by the dogs name and they actually look now (no response from dog)

You're getting dressed up to clean the house, because when else are you going to wear that fancy outfit?

When grocery shopping you pretend the paparazzi is following you, because you are lacking daily excitement. 

Your children have comendeared every possesion you have as their own and you are too tired to care. 

Your 3 year old wears your make up more often then you do. 

and the #1 reason...you have watched almost 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer in under 4 weeks. 

Down with the sickness?

I'm ready throw in the towel with the sickness this year. I'm tired exhausted. Between the snow and the almost constant sick children, restful nights are few and far between. Coraline is still my girl with the best immune system in the house for sure. She didn't have even a runny nose until well after her second birthday.This year she has been it with countless sniffles, colds, flu, and pink eye. Seriously? Pink Eye? Not just Pink Eye, Pink Eye during a snow storm. Fun times.

Arya has gotten just as many colds and runny noses. This week though her misery hits new levels with a viral infection, pink eye and every cold symptom available. She has spent days in a restless sleep state.

I have no tips or tricks for the sickness. I have no tips for the snow storms. I'm just ready for it to be over.

I'm ready for this. . .

Goodbye Ecomom.com and Jody Sherman

On January 29th, I learned that Jody Sherman, co-founder of Ecomom.com, had passed away. His death for me was shocking and sudden. I was struck with profound sadness at the loss of one the greatest people I have never met. I will forever be regretful that I did not have the opportunity to sit down with Jody in person. 

If you have been a long time reader of this blog then you know that Ecomom is a company that helped me get my blogging start, but Ecomom was so much more then a company to me. Jody was a mentor, a cheerleader for my work and a friend. I received emails from him at my start, in praise of my writing and my direction. When I was uncertain of my voice, Jody helped me to find it. When I was uncertain of my contribution to the blogosphere, Jody called me on the phone and gave me a pep talk that helped me overcome a very difficult time. 

I remember so fondly his encouragement, his amazing humor and ability to see the silver lining. I remember talking to him about his vision for Ecomom, something that I feel he did get to see come to fruition before he too soon passed. 

This morning I and thousands of others learn that Ecomom.com has also left us. I can only assume this comes on the tails of Jody's passing. I don't blame them. The parenting community will mourn the loss of an amazing company for years to come. It is not often that I would love a company so much that I would write a whole post about their closing. Ecomom was more then just a place to buy things, it was a community of wonderful people all helping each other out and having fun while doing it. They were a group of people I trusted and supported. They will be missed. Jody Sherman will be missed.